Shove it, fish breath
by FeralFighter
Summary: Noiz couldn't say that he's lived a dull life, considering his upbringing, the weirdos he calls his house mates, and being a security guard for the prestigious Platinum Jail Aquarium of all things, but practically becoming the babysitter of a full grown merman is a new one
1. Chapter 1

"Mummy, mummy, hurry up! I have to see the mermaid!"

Noiz watched as a young girl squealed while she tugged her mother along to the large glass tank that contained the new star attraction. Dozens of little children would stare in awe at the creature inside the tank, while the parent's humoured their kids, and the skeptics would make snide comments about how fake the merman actually was and would claim the whole thing a sham.

Generally Noiz would side with the skeptics, the idea of any kind of mythical creature was a childish and preposterous idea, but at this point it didn't take much convincing that what they were looking at was the real deal. His argument? If it was fake, the performer would be acting like a total show pony to entertain the masses, not cowering away behind a rock and staring back at the crowd on the other side of the glass and occasionally moving to another rock to continue staring. Not even the densest of idiots would hold their breath underwater for long periods of time just stalling.

Letting out a sigh, Noiz scanned the area; people were enjoying themselves as they checked out each exhibit, some were completely enthralled by the octopus, while others were taking selfies with the tropical fish in the background. Nothing out of the ordinary and no suspicious activity.

"Ah, Noiz-san, you're here early, your shift doesn't start for another hour when we closed."

The youth turned his head and came face to face with a familiar tall blond man with glasses who was giving the younger his typical charming smile. It was a rather rare sight to see this particular individual without his counterpart who was pretty much his twin.

"Virus..."

"Talkative as usual I see. Well, probably a good thing you're hear because I need to-"

"DADDY DID YOU SEE IT! IT MOVED!" A young boy shouted, jumping up and down excitedly as he pointed at the tank to get his father's attention. "IT'S SO PRETTY!"

Both blonds looked towards the merman's tank, where the crowd of children and adults were in a total frenzy over, what Noiz would assume, moving to hide behind another rock.

"Looks like our newest attraction is a big hit. Such a stunning creature." Virus mused.

Noiz made a small sound in agreement

"Unfortunately we still can't get him to eat. We're unsure if it's the food we've been trying to give him, or if he's still unsettled by his environment change. We've tried to see if we could communicate with him, but no success yet. I wouldn't put it pass that he probably doesn't understand us, but it will become a problem if he becomes sick from malnutrition."

"...Probably too spooked when there's eyes on him constantly."

The pierced youth was the only person to see the merman more active than he is during opening hours. Once the aquarium was closed and the only soul on the building floor was Noiz during his security shift, the blue haired being would swim around in his exhibit, be it cutting laps and inspecting the enormous tank, leisurely floating and occasionally doing flips, or leaning against the glass and looking into the room that was separated from his confinement.

He'd be lying if he said he didn't take the opportunity to scare the creature occasionally when he found him resting against the glass. Noiz always found it amusing when his brown eyes would bulge out in surprise, and would either propel himself back behind his rocks, or remain perfectly still until Noiz would lose interest and move on to check other parts of the building.

"Perhaps." Virus continued to look a the crowd till they settled down and faced back to Noiz. "Anyway, you wouldn't have seen any sort of suspicious activity or find anyone lurking around during your shifts within the last week?"

"No."

"I see... Have you been informed that a number fish have gone missing from their exhibits recently?"

Noiz couldn't help but raise one of his stubby eyebrows at that, "No I haven't. Are you trying to imply something?"

"Not necessarily, but the room is too crowded for anyone to try anything during the day, along with the fact that it's only you and 2 other people who keep an eye on everything afterhours and this is one of your designated floors for you to supervise. It's a little hard not to be suspicious" The taller blond explained as he adjusted his glasses

Although it didn't show on his face, Noiz couldn't help but be a little peeved at the accusation. "I have no interest in taking anything, and what would I even get out of stealing fish?"

Virus continued to give the youth his usual smile. "Well Platinum Jail Aquarium is home to many rare and endangered species, and there are plenty of people who'd pay a fortune to get their hands on them."

"Whatever, it wasn't me."

"I have no doubt that it isn't you Noiz-san, but fish are disappearing and it seems to be happening under your serveillance. I'm leaving it to you to figure out who's the culprit otherwise you may have to be laid off." Virus stated.

Before Noiz could talk back, the older man's coil chimed to indicate a message. It didn't take Virus any time to read and respond to the text.

"You're an intelligent young man, Noiz-san, I'm sure you'll solve the problem...if not I'm sure you'll have no issues finding another job. Now if you excuse me I need to find Trip."

The bespectacled man left, leaving Noiz to stand where he was, the words he wanted to say was left to stew in his mind.

Sighing through his nose, Noiz brought up his coil screen, answering a few messages and checking to see how long till his shift began to take his mind off what had just transpired. The second the holographic screen disappeared, the crowd by the merman tank had gone into another frenzy, and a few people walked past him, making snarky comments about the creature and how gullible the crowd was.

"...Damn."


	2. Chapter 2

**Knocked this out to take my mind off the heatwave were currently going through and now I'm disgustingly jealous of Aoba... Pray for me because tomorrow will be 40 degrees -A-**

At this point, Noiz couldn't tell what was giving him more of a headache, the fact that it's been 3 days since he's started his investigation on the missing fish (without any luck) while still needing to do his regular security duties, or the ringing in his ears from the verbal abuse from Akushima he just received over the first reason.

Headache and ringing aside, he was very relieved that he only had to deal with this crap after hours. God help him if he had to do his job during opening hours where people were everywhere to watch him and make a bigger fuss over the situation than necessary; it was only him and merman, who seemed to be curious enough as he was almost smooshing his face against the glass to see what was going on outside.

A perfect opportunity.

...

He brought up his holographic screen from his coil to check some of the security tapes again, as much as he'd like to mess with the oversized manfish, he still had work to do. Had it been any other job he wouldn't really give a damn but this kind of security shift catered to his night owl-ish ways that required the very minimum of human interaction, and was generally pretty cruisey so he had time to do his little hacking commissions whenever he wanted and stuff copious amounts of pizza down his throat during breaks. It may not be living the dream but it was close enough that he'd actually try saving his arse from losing it.

The video projected in front of him showed nothing new from the last 6 times he'd gone through it, and it was adding on to his headache from the deluded hope that maybe he'd pick up on something he missed from when he last reviewed it. Just the same shots of himself wondering around the floor, occasionally inspecting tanks, and just moving along to the next floor, nothing out of the ordinary. He had to be missing something, fish clearly don't disappear on their own, especially those who aren't known to eat their own species.

"What the hell is it?" Noiz murmured to himself as he decided to fast forward through the tape, trying to see if anything would jump out. He didn't even realize just how focused he was on the video till the sound of tapping snapped his attention away and causing the slightest flinch.

Bringing his head back up and turning to try and find where the source of the noise had come from, but there was nothing. Heavily exhaling from his nose, Noiz put his focus back to his coil and about to bring up the projection again till he heard more knocking. Okay, now he was sure that he wasn't just hearing things in his head.

Once again his head perked up, searching the room for the source until his gaze was on the merman who was floating close to the glass, looking more skittish than usual, but was making the effort to keep direct eye contact.

Although it didn't show on his face, Noiz was a little surprised that the creature was trying to make contact with someone, and him of all people. It had occurred to him that the creature, who's exhibit took up a massive portion of the floor, would have seen what was going on, but Noiz never bothered going further than thinking it since he was convinced that the merman was either an unintelligent life form, or would never try to communicate with humans.

The merman began making hand gestures, the most frequent one being his hand slightly cupped and wriggling his webbed fingers in a flowing motion. Either the merman was implying something about the jellyfish 2 floors down, or he really is an idiot.

Partly out of confusion, and partly out of annoyance, Noiz arched an eyebrow at the blue haired beings actions, which earned him a very unimpressed expression from the merman as his shoulders slumped and a flurry of bubbles escaped the gills along his neck. With a huff the creature came closer and began jabbing his finger into the glass, directing Noiz's attention to one of the other tanks.

"Octopus...?" Noiz questioned to himself as his eyebrows furrowed. Turning back to the merman, the blond pointed to the octopus tank, which the other nodded in confirmation. This still had the young guard stumped, the merman was implying something about the octopus, which was lazily sitting on a rock and trying it's best to blend in.

With a sigh he decided he would attempt one last ditch attempt with using the merman by pointing up. Of course the merman failed to get the hint by tilting his head to get a better view of the ceiling outside, and with Noiz's patience wearing thinner by the minute, didn't even bother to correct the other and instead moved out to the next floor and going through the back rooms till he entered the mermans enclosure.

Above the water had a large platform meant for the feeders and for the mermans personal use, Noiz walked along till he was at the ledge, where he squatted down, rolled up his sleeve, and began batting and stirring the water in his attempt to grab the residents attention.

It took about a minute before a mop of blue hair popped out and a pair of light brown eyes were staring at him, the rest of his face remained submerged in the water.

"What do you know?" Was all that Noiz asked.

The merman remained still as he continued to stare at the security guard, a few bubbles rising to the top.

"You know what's going on and I need you to tell me."

Brown eyes diverted their attention briefly before returning with a blink.

"What has the octopus got to do with this?"

...

Noiz sighed as he pushed himself up; he knew the chances of this working was slim, but he still thought giving this a stab would give him some luck. Looks like he should prepare for the inevitable sacking.

"...-getting out." Came a quiet voice that Noiz could only just here before looking back at the blue haired being.

"What?"

"...She's been getting out and into other traps to eat." The merman stated before plunging his mouth back underwater, looking wound up just from talking.

Noiz frowned, how the hell could an octopus escape? All the tanks were pretty secure so nothing could get in or out except the staff.

"How?"

The merman made the odd gesture of looking both left and right then quickly dived back under, leaving Noiz more confused than ever. By the time the youth lost his patience and about to leave, the creature reappeared.

"She's on the move again." Was the only statement.

Taking the merman's word, Noiz was aiming for the door to see if it was true till he was called out again.

"Wait!...C-can I eat her when you've caught her?"

In spite of the stupid question, Noiz really didn't have time for this. "No."

A rather nasaly whine came from the merman, clearly not impressed with the answer. "Then can you tell whichever jerk it is to stop dumping dead fish in here? I'm not a fry, I'm perfectly capable of hunting my own prey, and I'm starving!"

"...We'll see." Was Noiz's only response before leaving the room. At least he figured out the mystery of why the merman wasn't eating, and now he was about to find out if he was dependable or not.

 **May or may not have based this off a similar incident that happenedat the Melbourne Aquarium a few years back.**


End file.
